Kanye West’s New Shoes So Exclusive, Even He Can’t Buy Them
LOS ANGELES— In what industry experts are calling the boldest fashion statement since not wearing a shirt became a personality trait, Kanye West has announced the release of the Yeezy Phantom X-0.1 , a pair of sneakers so rare that not even Kanye himself can obtain them. The shoes, which are rumored to exist but have never been seen, are being hailed as “the next evolution of luxury” —a sneaker designed to be completely unattainable, even by the person who created them. West, known for his trendsetting innovations in music, fashion, and inexplicable Twitter meltdowns, has reportedly spent years perfecting the art of making people want something they will never have. An Exclusive Experience in Absolute Nothingness According to a cryptic press release from West’s team, the Yeezy Phantom X-0.1 are “a statement on materialism, capitalism, and the oppressive nature of tangible objects.” The official product description simply reads: “Just imagine them.” Despite their nonexistence, s...
